When Church History Gets Weird

Sometimes LDS church history gets really weird. I know more people that have left the church because of church history than any other reason. It’s a big deal. But perhaps it’s also like a pebble.

If you put a pebble right in front of your eye it becomes a boulder. If you pull it away from your eye you see it for what it is, a mere pebble.

Reading the Bible, specifically the Old Testament, will start to pull that weird church history “boulder” away from your eye so you can see it for the pebble that it is.  

Have you read the story about Lot and his daughters from the book of Genesis?

“And [Lot] dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the ^afirstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.” (Genesis 19:30-36).

Gross.

Have you read the story about Moses coming down from the mountain with the 10 commandments?

“As soon as he [Moses] came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses’ anger waxed hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.

And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it . . . Then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who is on the Lord’s side? Let him come unto me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves together unto him. And he said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side . . . and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor. And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men,” (Exodus 32:19-28).

Yikes.

Weird, uncomfortable, strange stuff happens in the Bible with God’s chosen people. So if I am going to continue believing in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, I’ve got to resist the urge to make a boulder out of stories like these while figuring out my faith in Jesus Christ.

Weird, uncomfortable, strange, stuff happens in LDS church history. So if I am going to believe in the restoration of Jesus Christ’s gospel through Joseph Smith in 1830, I’m going to have to resist the urge to make a boulder out of those stories while figuring out my faith in Jesus Christ.

Latter-day history is as strange as former-day history. Stephen Colbert elaborates on this point: “Mormons believed Joseph Smith received golden plates from an angel on a hill, when everybody knows that Moses got stone tablets from a burning bush on a mountain.”[1]  It’s all strange.

When it seems like the Lord is or has done weird stuff it’s important to remember Isaiah 55:8, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” When people are the culprit for strange stuff it’s important to remember that sometimes people . . . are just weird.   

Read the Bible. Learn the history. See the pebble.

 

 

 

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[1] http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/394360/august-10-2011/yaweh-or-no-way----mormons---god-s-poll-numbers I suggest clicking this and watching this.

Cent 2 for New Moms

I see my dog-owning neighbors out walking their dogs multiple times a day. They know it’s important for their dogs’ overall health to get out and exercise. Children need to be outside just as badly. When they’re out they get their dose of vitamin D from Mr. Sun, and they can jump off of things, throw things, they can run, romp, yell at the top of their lungs, get dirty, and cause ruckus. All the things we tell them not to do in the house, they are free to do outside. Give them sunshine, give them the opportunity to get their wiggles out, and you won’t be disappointed. 

                The Golden Rule should apply to our children. When I am in the middle of reading a book I HATE it when someone comes in and demands I stop reading right now! because it’s time to go get in the car. I HATE it! I usually yell, “Don’t tell me what to do!” because I’m in the middle of something, come on. Similarly, my kids hate it when they’re in the middle of playing the coolest game on their bunk bed using blankets that make a dungeon, and I come in demanding they stop because it’s time to go get in the car. They hate it! They cry and complain and refuse, because they were right in the middle of something!  Attempting to be courteous, we wait or politely get the attention of the adult we wish to communicate with. We are following the Golden Rule. In situations with my kids, they cooperate better when I give them a heads up if we’re going to change activities, it’s what I would want. I give them a little respect, they give me some cooperation.   

                Have them earn their “screen time.” Depending on the kid and the age, you can help them accomplish something to earn screen time: get dressed for the day, brush teeth, pick up toys, comb hair, eat breakfast, do homework. I try to have the time they want to spend in front of a screen, match the time they spend playing outside. This one’s a struggle because the screen is pretty much the nanny I can’t afford. I can get so much DONE when I have them in front of a screen. But it helps teach balance.

The most important thing I’ve learned that I have to offer, the shiniest twinkle you’ll see on my 2 cents is that the Lord can help you because He knows your child. My first child and I did not get along for a while. I did not understand her. I was struggling to figure out how to take care of her. At the end of most days I’d put her down to sleep and then cry as I reflected on the day we had together and felt like a failure. As the day’s events quickly ran through my head I felt so guilty at how badly I had gone about taking care of her. One night I found myself kneeling next to my bed with tears falling into my hands because I couldn’t do it. I was so bad at being a mom. But then I asked for help, I pleaded for help, and He gave it to me. During the next weeks and months He started giving me thoughts and ideas about what to do and what to try. I learned that year that the Lord knew my little girl, and He wanted to help me take care of her.

Since then I have asked almost daily for help to know how to take care of my kids, and He helps. Sometimes it’s with thoughts and ideas like before, but He has also helped me by blessing me with a friend that has the advice I needed. I have asked for help and then that day while waiting for the doctor I picked up a magazine and read the advice I needed. He will whisper answers, and He will direct us to answers.     

Motherhood is a process. “That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved,” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). Good luck ladies!

2 Cents for a Mom with Young Kids: Cent 1

When I first became a mom I felt completely lost as to how to take care of babies and young children. I’d ask my mom questions and she would squint her face like she was trying to catch a memory inside her head, but would always respond with, “I don’t remember.” I can’t say that I blame her after 9 kids, but it made me feel pretty hopeless.

7 years and 4 kids later I feel like I have two cents I can spare for any new moms that need it. No one threw me a bone, so catch this one if you want it ladies.

Lower your expectations of your kids, keep your resolve to teach them very high. Kids are not adults, don’t expect them to act like one. Expect your grown-up friends to act like adults - not your 0-6 year olds. Your job is to pound social norms, taboos, and acceptable behavior into their tiny minds (to teach them, that is).

An adult leaves the house with the destination of going to the car, point A to point B. That adult will walk as straight as possible with next to no distractions; can take less than 1 minute. A child, in that same point A to point B scenario, will want to slowly descend the apartment steps making space ship noises pretending to be a spaceship flying above the bushes, they want to jump from shadow to shadow, they want to lay down flat on the side walk to get a good look at a crawling bug, they want to pick up the world’s best stick they just spotted 10 feet away, they want to run in circles around you chasing someone or nothing. The adult’s point B (the car) is like a kids point Z (if it even exists to them). To avoid yelling and getting frustrated at your inquisitive kid, add extra time to the time you need to get from your point A’s to point B’s. I plan on 10 minutes to get to my car, seriously. When we make it to the car in less time I’m ecstatic, when it takes the full 10 minutes everyone’s still happy because there’s no rushing. The kids got to explore, I got to the car in time so we won’t be late. Don’t expect your kid’s time table to reflect that of an adult’s, if you do, frustration and screams ensue.

Lower your expectations for your child, keep your resolve to teach them very high. I expect my 1 year old to splash and play in the toilet, to stuff his blankie into the toilet, to throw our X-box controllers into the toilet. I expect him to throw toys, underwear, blankets, fingernail polish, sippy-cups, and more over the balcony of our 3^rd story apartment. I expect him to rip out the pages of my scriptures and every other book in the house. I expect him to push the power buttons that turn off my computer and T.V. while I’m using them. I expect to find my 3 year old on top of the counters sneaking treats, and dipping toilet paper rolls into a sink full of water. I expect my 4 year old to (somehow) accidentally smear poop onto the toilet, I expect him to cry next to my leg all day because all he wants to do is play video games. I expect my 6 year old to hate going to school every day and refuse to do homework.      When I expect all of these behaviors (instead of mature, conditioned behavior) I can be on top of my game. I expect it. That way I’m not dumbfounded into screaming, slapping fits, or shocked into sudden rages of anger. I expect it. That way I can level headedly discipline.

The root word of discipline is disciple. One definition of Disciple is to teach and train (punishment is entirely different). After I come across my kid acting like a not-adult, I attempt to teach them what they should do instead.

The teaching we give little children doesn’t always seem to sink in, but we keep at it because it’s our duty. Teach them the rules at your house, the rules at the park, the rules at other people’s houses, the rules of being outside; and when they don’t follow the rules, treat it like sports, They’re Out. Time-out or whatever you use should consistently happen when they don’t follow the rules. It’s a struggle for both parties, but it’s what they need in order to best understand appropriate behavior and inappropriate behavior.  

                Ultimatums are no bueno. “If you don’t come here right now we’re never coming to the park again!” No good. Avoid ultimatums always, always, always, when trying to discipline. Ultimatums teach young ones that their parents pretty much never follow through with punishments. Kids are learning their limits by how their parents react to them. They’re figuring out what sorts of behaviors they can do without getting mom to spank them, or send them to time-out, or take away they’re privileges. Don’t underestimate their intelligence.

  KIDS FIRST LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL. They learn best when you physically do something instead of telling them five times. When my 3 year old won’t stop hitting the metal spoon against the oven door he will let the words, “Parker! Stop that right now or you’ll go to time out,” go in and out. It’s when I walk over and physically remove him from the situation that he starts to pay attention. Parker will let me yell at him to get off the table all day because words don’t mean as much to him as going over and pulling him down off the table. And cuz he’s a brat. Young children are learning about the world; words are second in their learning process.

                Next week: Cent 2. 

 

On Inequality in the Church

I’ve been watching the debating and arguing over the ordain women, girls go to priesthood session, and things, from the sidelines. I know I’m not the only one watching, so I wrote this for those still trying to decide what they think on the matter.

 The more I watch, the more I’m reminded of some Book of Mormon stories.   

In 3 Nephi 27:3-5 Jesus Christ finds His disciples disputing about something. The disciples ask Christ, “Lord, we will that thou wouldst tell us the name whereby we shall call this church; for there are disputations among the people concerning this matter.” Jesus answered, “Why is it that the people should murmur and dispute because of this thing? Have they not read the scriptures?”

In 1 Nephi 15:6-8 Nephi finds his brothers Laman and Lemuel disputing a topic. Nephi speaks to his “brethren, desiring to know of them the cause of their disputations. And they said: Behold, we cannot understand the words which our father hath spoken concerning the natural branches of the olive-tree, and also concerning the Gentiles. And [Nephi] said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?”

In Moroni 8:5-7 people have been disputing over the practice of baptizing little children. Mormon writes a letter to his son Moroni saying, “There have been disputations among you concerning the baptism of your little children . . . immediately after I had learned these things of you I inquired of the Lord concerning the matter. And the word of the Lord came to me by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

In each of these situations people are disputing over something that is unclear and uncertain within the church. The disciples of Christ dispute because they are uncertain as to what they should name the church. Nephi’s brother’s dispute because they are unclear about doctrine taught by their father. The group of people with Moroni dispute because they aren’t sure at what age to baptize. Each of these groups is concerned about something they don’t have the answers to, just like the people right now who are disputing women’s equality in the church and what women should have or should not have. We can find answers on this matter in the same way the disputing people in the Book of Mormon were counseled to find answers.  

Over the subject being disputed, Christ asks His disciples, “Have they not read the scriptures?” Just as we should ask ourselves when uncertain about a doctrine. Through critical thinking, reading comprehension skills, and the Holy Ghost we can find answers for modern questions from their ancient text.

To his disputing brothers, Nephi asks, “have ye inquired of the Lord?” Mormon, not knowing the answer about the doctrine being disputed, “immediately . . . inquired of the Lord concerning the matter.” These stories teach us that when we aren’t clear about something we need to inquire (ask) of the Lord, and get answers. Jesus taught, “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive” (Matthew 21:22).

If women holding the priesthood and women feeling unequal is important to you, find the answers to your questions. Ask, and further your spiritual progression toward knowing God.

When Lorenzo Snow was uncertain about a doctrine, he sought the Lord for the answer and received it through personal revelation. After receiving this “sacred communication,” he guarded it carefully, and “did not teach the doctrine publicly until he knew that the Prophet Joseph Smith had taught it” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church Lorenzo Snow, pg. 83). The Lord will tell us the answers to our questions, and when He does there is a high standard as to how we care for the revelations we receive, as shown by Lorenzo Snow.  

General Conference is this weekend. If you have questions about women and the priesthood, women and inequality in the church, take them to the Lord. Listen to the speakers, read your scriptures with intent, and ask Heavenly Father for the answers you are seeking. When a doctrinal question arises that seems unanswered, we will do well to accept personal responsibility for our own spiritual growth and understanding, and find the answers. Because, “If any of [us] lack wisdom, let [us] ask of God, that giveth to all [His children] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given [us]” (James 1:5), right?